NBA Free Urgency has become Basketballmania I

There’s the CP3 fiasco. Now there’s allegations of tampering against the Nets in their pursuit of Dwight Howard. Lamar Odom is crying on the radio. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? The NBA is in utter chaos right now. We expected this free agency period to be crazy, but we didn’t think it would be crazy. Like professional wrestling crazy. David Stern is now Vince McMahon and the NBA is the WWE.

Here’s all of today’s NBA chatter. I’ve been calling it Free Urgency, but for today and perhaps the near future, this is BASKETBALLMANIA, BROTHER!!!!

The Rockets, Lakers and Hornets are resuming talks to work out another Chris Paul trade. The soundtrack for negotiations is Aaliyah.

The Magic are considering filing tampering charges against the Nets after reports surfaced the Brooklyn-bound franchise met with Dwight Howard earlier this week in Miami. Howard denies a meeting took place. Fake Mikhail Prokhorov, your thoughts? “In Russia when there is this ‘tampering’, someone end up missing.”

More Nets news: New Jersey Soon To Be Brooklyn is closing in on landing Nene. If the Nets also acquire Howard, Nene will apparently slide to the four.

Lamar Odom, openly insulted to be included in the defunct Paul trade, showed up 90 minutes late to the first day of Lakers camp. He also cried on the radio yesterday. Meanwhile, Pau Gasol, showed up to Lakers practice on time like a champ.

Brandon Roy looks to be retiring after doctors told him he might not be able to walk if he continues to play. Bill Walton, Sam Bowie, Greg Oden, Brandon Roy. If you love having functional legs and feet, don’t get drafted by the Blazers.

Here’s David Stern‘s pathetic explanation for his pathetic Chris Paul veto.

Warriors guard Charlie Bell missed the first day of Warriors camp after he showed up drunk to his hearing on drunken driving. Go Warriors!

The Pistons reached a buyout of Rip Hamilton‘s ridiculous contract, making him free to think he’s still one the league’s best players on another team.

Juwan Howard will continue to be old on the Miami Heat.

The sun sets on Vince Carter‘s time with the Suns.

The Magic use the amnesty clause on Gilbert Arenas and his guns and his sexist Twitter avatars.

Chris Broussard, gossip monger: “Dwight Howard will ask Magic to trade him to Nets today, sources say. Trade could happen as soon as today.”


About Sawley

Tortured but loyal fan of the Golden State Warriors, Oakland Raiders, Oakland A's, San Jose Sharks, Oregon Ducks and Chelsea FC. Life's easier with the R. Kelly Pandora station.
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